Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Okay, I'm better now.
Even though I watched the last Dawson's Creek tonight. It's indeed the end of an era.
I started watching with my sister when she was a junior in high school- I would IM her (new tech at the time) when I was in Boulder, it was our bonding time. I kind of miss those days sometimes.
In fact, I'm beginning to think of my college experience and the many things I'll miss. Parties in rooms so crowded you need a crowbar to get in and a bucket brigade to get a beer. Parties so small that it's just me and five guys talking politics until four AM. Opening my door and being able to see most of my close friends within minutes. The security of certainty. Inside jokes, singing in the shower with other girls (in other stalls, of course), long talks over dinner . . . I'll miss these things so much more than I can even understand now. I'm ready to enter the next phase of my life, but I'm also sure that I will deeply miss some aspects of my past.
I think the thing I fear most is loneliness. Moving to a new area and having to make new friends, keep in touch with old friends, etc. It's tough. I should talk to my dad about it, I'm sure he has some advice.
I think the weirdest thing is just how I won't be a student anymore. Learning is all I know. I've been an intern, a student and a volunteer, but at the same time, I've always been the student in the student-teacher relationship. I am apprehensive about entering the world without the security of that framework. I'm sure I'll do fine, but it's just odd going into something completely different from the way your life used to work.
Anyway, enough rambling. I should really be in bed. Until next time . . .

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Okay. I had here a long rant about my advisor, who I have added to my rapidly growing KMA list. The M is for "My", the K is for "kiss." Deduce away. But I am censoring myself because the internet has a reach far beyond my own. And I am on Google, which connects all people. But all the same, concerning the Coe Review, if you don't grind the wheat, raise the dough and bake the bread, you better not complain to the little Red Hen about the end result. Those of you who know me know what that means. Those of you who don't, don't have to. Ha.
But props to longstanding KMA list members all the same, the theatre department, most of my middle and high school teachers, Bill Owens and John Ashcroft. Although Ashcroft is probably reading this. Bastard.
Anyway, enough anger. I got a nice letter from my friend Michelle yesterday and I am really looking forward to going home. I need the break.
Tomorrow is a test for my Popular Lit class, in which we study Monsters in Film. The exam will be on The Shining and Alien (two of my favorites). I'm going through a Kubrick phase right now, but I think I need to psyche myself up for Clockwork Orange. I've read the book, but it's differend to see things with your eyes than with your mind. I love movies that leave more questions than answers.
But it's late and I need to sleep so I will at least pay some attention in French tomorrow. Until next time . . .

Monday, May 12, 2003

Hey, this blog dates itself. I don't need to write my little 5/12 at the top. Good deal.
I got my first graduation gift today from my great aunt. I guess I'm really graduating now.
The Coe Review budget is due tomorrow and then I just have to finish the reception. Apparently I have to draw a diagram so the physical plant people know how to arrange the tables and all. Which is sorta dumb, I mean, why can't they just do that themselves? I really don't care how they do it. I'm so fed up with the whole thing that it really doesn't matter at all to me.
I gave a presentation in my unpracticed French today. I dearly hope I made sense.
I'm glad the war is over so I can start liking James Lileks ( again. He got to be super weird during the war. I'm glad the killing is over, I'm glad the troops are coming home. As for Halliburton winning the contract to "rebuild" Iraq, I'm not so pleased. But at least those kids are home and at least Iraqi five-year olds aren't being armed and sent into the front lines to combat the world's military power.
I'm happy for that. And I'm happy to look forward, even though the way is cloudy.
Until next time . . .

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Hallelujah. I am done with the Coe College aptly named Department of Drama. I am done with people who disdain me for having a life outside of the theatre . . . I'll drink to that . . .
Now all that's left is finals and the reception for Coe Review, and some minor preparations for graduation. But as the Moby song goes, I'm not worried.
People keep asking me what I want for graduation, and I can't tell if I am just really not in need of anything or I haven't had time to think about wanting anything. I really haven't been able to come up with an answer when people ask me . . . since I had my own place back in Sophomore year, I don't need any house stuff (except a couch. But we'll wait on that) and I have way too many clothes. I could think of a couple of computer things I would like, maybe, but I really don't know. I told Kathleen, all I want are encouraging words, maybe a couple of bucks. I don't really want anything else I'll have to move anytime soon.
It's been a good chill weekend, won't be long and things will begin to get crazygonuts. So if blogging is spotty, that's why.
Until . . . whenever . . .

Saturday, May 10, 2003

I have to strike a set for the theatre department in one hour and forty-two minutes. I am not happy about this. I am very tired of the theatre department and its regiment of divas and drama queens.
But that's probably just the senioritis talking. The thing is, I have had virtually nothing to do for weekends on end and now all my friends are having parties tonight . . . the night I'm going to be trapped in Dows Fine Arts building washing greasepaint off of costumes.
We got the Review done, and I'm about 89 percent pleased with it. The cover is lower resolution than I wanted and some of the pictures inside look rather flat. I'm not too pleased with that. But I'm glad to have it done.
Next is graduation . . .
I sent my portfolio to Outside Magazine in Santa Fe, and now I'm just playing the waiting game. We'll see, as I always say. In the meantime, I'm just trying to enjoy the neon green Iowa springtime and the last few days I'll have as a college student.
until next time . . .

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Hi, folks, this is the new blogspot. It's not as cute as the last one but Coe has finally decided I don't need my ftp account any longer (I guess it's time to cut the jade ftp site umbilicus) so I've packed my opinion shoebox and here I am.
Here's what I think is really silly. We went to war to depose Saddam and disarm Iraq. And our objectives, as G-dub said, were clear, and we would most certainly meet them. So here we are, several weeks later, and well, we're calling the war over.
-But, Saddam still alive, and we've still not found any . . .
It's OOOOver, I tell you!
-But, the WMD's, they still haven't found any . . .
OOOOOver!! La la la, I can't hear you!! So glad that war is over, now I can pay attention to Michael Jackson again.
-But we just found a tape of Saddam's voice, and only hints of the construction of weap-
-La la laaa!!
Anyway. I guess if Big Brother says the war is over, it's over. And I'll just sit back and let him install telephone surveillance and monitor my library records. Now that we're in peacetime and all . . .

Well, not much more to report. Still looking for jobs, probably will try to send out some portfolios to Colorado newspapers with little circulations, and hopefully get some nibbles in their features departments, though I am beginning to consider an internship in Santa Fe that would only pay minimum wage . . . but what I really need is experience, and if I want to work in magazines, that's probably what I should be doing. So I'll see what I can send their way and hopefully if I live in Santa Fe on 6.53 an hour, my wonderful parents will help me get by. Again.
Wish me luck, and until next time . . .