In the name of blog . . .

last kiss: eh, i'd rather not say . . . not because it was illicit but because it was soooo long ago

last cigarette: never had a whole one- took a drag on flunk day of '03

last good cry: probably a hormonal moment of weakness and serious lizzie deficiency, can't really remember

last library book checked out: James Joyce's Ulysses, which I'm sorry to say I couldn't finish. In fact, I could barely start it.

last movie seen: Kill Bill Vol. 1. Can't wait for Vol. 2!

last book read: I'm working on "Forever" by Pete Hamill

last cuss word uttered: I reflexively say "Fuck You" to the TV every time G.W. comes on. I can't stop myself.

last beverage drank: Coffee. I have too much blood in my caffeine supply.

last food consumed: english muffins

last phone call: Val's daughter calling the newsroom and looking for her.

last tv show watched: Queer Eye

last shoes worn: Black strappy wedge heel sandals

last cd played: tom petty wildflowers

last item bought: Ben and Jerry's Fro Yo- very gross. Not recommended. Full fat is sooo worth it

last downloaded: Wow, I haven't had high-speed in so long . . . probably a MST3K episode

last annoyance: the G**Damned car!!! . . . and justifying being single

last disappointment: Uh, Ben and Jerry's Frozen Yogurt.

last soda drank: i never drink soda . . . probably a blueberry Izze.

last thing handwritten: notes to myself about what I'm getting Mom for mother's day

last word spoken: "uh huh" to something Val said that I didn't really care to listen to

last sleep: two hours ago

last im: Dad

last weird encounter: A guy came into the newsroom upset about something, with a letter to the editor, turns out he's a wife beater who was arrested on two counts of domestic abuse and was mentioned in an article by his ex-wife who is angry that he's attending the same church as her. Longmont is so WT it kills me.

last ice cream eaten: Ben and Jerry's Frozen Yogurt should not even be placed next to the ice cream in the store. So it doesn't count. But I got coldstone after a workout a couple of days ago.

last amused: All these queen-bee girls came into the newsroom, they are the student body presidents of local high schools and are being featured in an article. They think they're pretty hot shit.

last time wanting to die: Uh, in the BP car wash . . . when my tire went flat and I drove off the track

last time in love: not sure. Probably when I saw Lord of the Rings, Return of the King. I am in love with the movie, Legolas, all the hobbits, and of course, Aragorn.

last time hugged: Mom and Dad, at the butt crack of dawn, at the Airport shuttle.

last time scolded: Val scolds me all the time. I think the last time was when I said something about how working with the dead is guaranteed job security.

last chair sat in: my ugly-ass work throne.

last lipstick used: hm . . . probably my signature Clinique Black Lily.

last shirt worn: signature black tighty crewneck

last time dancing: in my living room

last poster looked at: the naked red-haired bicycle lady one at my parents' house

1 MINUTE AGO: sending Church briefs to the editor

1 HOUR AGO: logging in the obits

1 DAY AGO: trying to keep my cool upon accepting a date with Val's son

1 WEEK AGO: still trying to figure out Kill Bill while stressing about the car

1 YEAR AGO: anticipating graduation, trying frantically to get the Coe Review published, obsessing over Nick Barnes and Bic Runga.

1. What do you most like about your body? my legs- everyone tells me I have nice legs.

2. And least? my belly, it attracts chub like flypaper

3. How many fillings do you have? i think just one.

4. Do you think you're good looking? about 70 percent of the time . . . the rest of the time I feel like a fat cow with big pores and man hands.

5. Do other people tell you that you're good looking? yeah, usually it kinda creeps me out

First job: a Jewish deli

First screen name: downtownsprite

First funeral: that little neighbor of ours, the three year old

First pet: McGee the fatty tom cat

piercing/tattoo: Spencers gifts, seven years old, ears- Afterthoughts, 11 years old, one more in the left ear (now closed up)- 19 years old, K's on the hill, nose (soooo acceptably rebellious). I'd like to get something else done but I think I've exhausted the possibilities of what I actually wouldn't mind having pierced. I like the adrenaline rush but I really can't think of what else I would wnat to have done . . .

First credit card: my debit card

First Kiss: he he, Ben Nixon, 9th grade :)

First one that mattered: Hmm . . . mattered how? I guess Nick Gossert. He was a horrible kisser.

First love: Mark Spencer. 6th Grade. I never saw him after his mom shot his step-dad and he left school.

First enemy: Christina in 3rd grade. She was a fat ho.

First big trip: Probably Idaho when I was just little, like 2 or so.

First concert: A punk concert at the Elks Lodge when I was 14. I was such a little punk . . .

First musician you remember hearing in your house: Heart.