Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Heinz In the News

Heinz In the News

It is interesting that Heinz puts a statement on its website denouncing rumours of political affiliation (the only reason I visited the site was that I wanted to learn what the little U in the circle on my ketchup label meant). When really, I'd much rather vote for someone whose campaign contributions were raised by good old, All-American ketchup and Ore-Ida French Fries than someone whose campaign is tainted with the greasy fingerprints of foreign oil, defense contractors and bankrupt energy monopolies. But that's just me.

Ketchup doesn't rely on alliances with unstable and oppressive theocratic dictatorships. While I'm sure that the factories that produce ketchup are guilty of most industrial sins, i.e., outsourcing, cheap foreign labor, pollution, waste, etc., I doubt that the ketchup industry is as deeply embedded in the national economy as oil. Would we be anxious to invade a nation that was controlling vast amounts of our incoming tomato supply? I also doubt that Kerry would come into office having become deeply indebted to his ketchup cronies and try to make a case for invading Italy. Or that he'd make a case for invading any country and then send huge packages of Heinz food items to the troops a la Halliburton.

So even though Heinz says they don't have much to do with Kerry's campaign funds, I wouldn't really care if they did. Because I really doubt that there will ever be a bumper sticker proclaiming "No Blood for Ketchup."


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