Friday, December 10, 2004

Christmas is under attack!

Okay. I am tired. I have a cold. So I am going to pick an easy target for today. Bill O'Reilly- the man for whom the word "batshit" may have been invented.

In his syndicated column, he says that liberals not only hate America, but Christmas. And happiness and babies and puppies. Yeah. Them too.

The column, titled "Take your Christmas and Shove it" follows:

"Christmas with the Kranks" is not only the name of a holiday movie this year, it is also a national trend. Once again, Christmas is under siege by the growing forces of secularism in America. Put these facts in your stocking:

-- Federated Department Stores, which includes Macy's, has suggested that managers avoid displaying "Merry Christmas" banners and have ordered employees not to talk about it.

-- In Denver, a church was banned from the "Festival of Lights" parade because it wanted a religious theme to its float.

-- The Maplewood, N.J., school board has banned all religious music from "holiday" concerts. (Would somebody please tell me exactly what holiday this is?)

-- And New York City Mayor Bloomberg insists that the lighted tree outside City Hall is not a Christmas tree, it's a holiday tree. (What holiday, Mr. Mayor?)

Surveys show that more than 90 percent of Americans celebrate the federal holiday of Christmas, signed into law by President Grant in 1870. Despite that overwhelming number, the tradition of Christmas in America continues to get hammered.

90% huh. What surveys? According to Wikipedia:
As of 2001, the distribution for major religions in the United States was as follows: Protestant (52 percent), Roman Catholic (24.5 percent), "none" (13.2 percent), Jewish (1.3 percent) and between 0.3 and 0.5 percent each for Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu and Unitarian Universalist. An additional 0.3 to 0.5 percent, each, are professed agnostics and atheists. The largest single religious denomination in the United States is the Roman Catholic Church, followed by the Southern Baptist Convention and the Mormons.

The United States, as a developed nation, is noteworthy for its high level of Christian religious devotion. However, the percentage of Americans calling themselves Christian has declined somewhat in recent years from 86.2 percent in 1990 to 76.5 percent in 2001.

Besides, as people like Bill O'Reilly seem to be incapable of understanding, just because the majority group is of a certain faith does not mean that the government is justified in proselytizing individuals to that faith. Hello freedom of religion. Hello separation of church and state.

The anti-Christmas forces say it's all about diversity, protecting the sensitivities of those Americans who get offended by the mere mention of the birth of Jesus. Somehow I haven't been able to locate any of these people; folks who find a baby in a manger so off-putting it ruins their day.

I love it. The anti-Christmas forces. Yes! Don we now our ungay apparel, undecking the halls of happy Christians everywhere! Setting aflame their log-and-twig reindeer! repelling from wires down city hall Christmas trees and tazing department store Santas!

So the diversity excuse is a bunch of bull. What's really going on here is a well-organized movement to wipe out any display of organized religion from the public arena.

Of course he hasn't been able to locate any of these people. Jews and Buddhists (and certainly Muslims) don't have very long tenures at Fox News and they aren't likely to hang out with the likes of Bill O'Reilly. Besides that, aren't lefties supposed to be the ones crying "conspiracy" all the time?

The secular-progressive movement understands very well that it is organized religion, most specifically Christianity and Judaism, that stands in the way of gay marriage, partial birth abortion, legalized narcotics, euthanasia, and many other secular causes. If religion can be de-emphasized in the USA, a brave new progressive society can be achieved.

Shorter Bill O'Reilly: Plastic baby Jesuses are all that stand between order and Weimar Germany.

It has happened in Canada. Once a traditional religious country, Canada has become like Holland in its embrace of the secular movement. Some facts: In 1980, 79 percent of Canadians said that religion was important to the country. That number has now fallen to 61 percent, according to an Environics Focus Canada poll.

Um, yeah, that horrible Dutch rabbit hole of moral bankruptcy from which there is no return. Canada's divorce rate is 45% to our 49%, the Netherlands only see 41% of marriages end in divorce. Canada's HIV infection rate is .3%, the Dutch rate is .2%. The American rate is .6%. The Netherlands have the world's lowest rate of teen pregnancy, at 1.2%, and Canada's is 1.5%. The rate of pregnancy for women aged 15 to 19 in the United States is 5.4%. And unlike Bill, I didn't pull these numbers from my ass.

In 1971, less than one percent of the Canadian population reported having no religion whatsoever; now that number has risen to 16 percent.

The fall of religion in Canada has corresponded to a change in public policy. Unlike Americans, Canadians have legalized gay marriage and any kind of abortion. Also, the age of consent for sex up north is just 14 years old. Can you imagine American adults being allowed to fool around with children that age? I can't.

I bet you can! Over the phone, it's hard to tell how old your sex partner is. And anyway, it's not like 14-year-olds down here are NOT having sex with adults, just because it's not legal. Besides, how did we make the leap here from prohibiting religious displays by the American Government and having sex with 14-year olds?

Even drug legalization is close to being a reality as the city of Vancouver is developing a heroin giveaway policy and pot has been largely decriminalized across the country.

Wait, they are having a heroin giveaway? No wonder I haven't been able to find Robert Downey Jr. these past few weeks.

The Canadian model is what progressive Americans are shooting for, and, so, religion must be dealt with. Since Christmas is the most demonstrative display of organized religion, the strategy of minimizing the birth of Jesus makes perfect sense.

I know this sounds kind of conspiratorial, but it really isn't. Most of those marginalizing Christmas have no idea about the big picture I've just presented. They simply think they're looking out for the minority of Americans who don't celebrate the birth of Christ.

Uh, yeah . . . those of us sticking up for the little guy are merely pawns to Larry Flynt, who is using the progressive doctrine of tolerance to inch closer toward a reality where you can have legal pot and screw 14-year-olds.

But committed secularists in the media, in the courts and in the education system, know exactly what's going on. And now so do you. Merry Christmas!

Wow, thanks Bill, for opening our eyes. Now I know I have to put a baby Jesus in my yard or else I'm aiding the LEFT in skipping toward a gomorrah of godless orgiastic secularism.

You know, this would be funnier if people didn't buy into the whole "religion keeps us from hurting ourselves" doctrine. What Bill is doing here is exactly what Rove and Cheney and Rumsfeld do all the time- they are presenting an issue that doesn't really exist (well, at any rate, a meme that the evangelists trot out every year with their fake holly and icicle lights) to further portray liberals or secular persons as EVILDOERS.

We don't hate Christmas, we just think it's unfair for the government to offer Christmas up as the ONLY holiday. A secular Christmas is celebrated my many "Christians by default," that is, people like me who come from a Christian family, people for whom Christmas means family and reflection and pagan goodies like a feast and a Christmas tree. But as a student of history, I know that Jesus wasn't a part of Christmas until 500 years after Christ's death, and was used as a marketing tool . . . hey Pagan dude, guess what. I'm going to cut you a deal. You don't have to give up Saturnalia . . . just call it Christ-mass, okay? You can still have your tree, and your feast, and you can give your friends and family presents for the coming year (on the Roman Calendar) but say it's Jesus' birthday.

Further, I am peeved when people say that the U.S. was founded as a Christian country by Christians. A good example of our SECULAR roots:

Where the preamble declares, that coercion is a departure from the plan of the holy author of our religion, an amendment was proposed by inserting "Jesus Christ," so that it would read "A departure from the plan of Jesus Christ, the holy author of our religion;" the insertion was rejected by the great majority, in proof that they meant to comprehend, within the mantle of its protection, the Jew and the Gentile, the Christian and Mohammedan, the Hindoo and Infidel of every denomination.

-Thomas Jefferson, Autobiography, in reference to the Virginia Act for Religious Freedom

How 'bout that. And there's more:

History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.

-Thomas Jefferson to Alexander von Humboldt, Dec. 6, 1813.

"What influence, in fact, have ecclesiastical establishments had on society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual tyranny on the ruins of the civil authority; on many instances they have been seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny; in no instance have they been the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wish to subvert the public liberty may have found an established clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just government, instituted to secure and perpetuate it, needs them not."
- James Madison, "A Memorial and Remonstrance", 1785

"I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind has preserved--the Cross. Consider what calamities that engine of grief has produced!"
- John Adams, letter to Thomas Jefferson

And finally, one I wish that Mr. Franklin were alive to offer to O'Reilly in real life:
"If we look back into history for the character of the present sects in Christianity, we shall find few that have not in their turns been persecutors, and complainers of persecution. The primitive Christians thought persecution extremely wrong in the Pagans, but practiced it on one another. The first Protestants of the Church of England blamed persecution in the Romish Church, but practiced it upon the Puritans. They found it wrong in Bishops, but fell into the practice themselves both here (England) and in New England." - Benjamin Franklin


  1. Whoa, you kick THAT kind of ass when you're sick! Don't be messin' with you on a healthy day!! Love lots, ;)

  2. Even if the non religious population up here wasn't growing O'Reilly still wouldn't like us, since we're too "socialist" for a clueless dweeb like him.