ACTUAL JOB LISTING HEADINGS IN THE DENVER/BOULDER CRAIGSLIST 'ETC' SECTION:
. . . c'mon baby, smash up those grapes . . .
-Asian Teens- $40
. . . THIS doesn't sound lecherous at all . . .
-ATTRACTIVE MEN AND WOMEN TO DO HOUSE CLEANING
. . . Hey, there's Cheetos on the floor! (dropping cheetos on the floor.)
-Gadget Freek Internet Survey
. . . Nah, you'll never find "Gadget Freeks" on the Internets.
-EXPERIENCED INDIVIDUAL TO MEASURE FOR FABRIC YARDAGE
. . .There's something very Silence of the Lambs about that one.
. . . How sad.
-Bandit sign distributor
. . . Lizzie! We found your true calling!
-someone to run a quick errand
. . . Eh. I don't feel like going to the Post Office. I know what I'll do!
-labor, do you have skills?
. . . Like numchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills? Because we only want laborers who have great skills.