DEPRESSING HEADLINES FROM "STAR" MAGAZINE:
(not to step on Norbizness' toes here, but I would be willing to do Pat Robertson one better and say that these news items could be signs of the End Times.)
1. Jessica Simpson Puts On 'Boots'
Jessica Simpson has recorded the '60s Nancy Sinatra hit These Boots Are Made for Walkin.'
2. Tara Reid Hosting Wild On!
E! has tapped Tara Reid to be the new host of its series Wild On! Reid will travel to the world's most unusual and indulgent places. (Ed. note: I am of the opinion that Tara Reid is actually an android prototype. There are at least six of her and they don't know they're androids. And yes, they dream of electric sheep.)
3. Colin Farrell Delivers Eulogy
Colin Farrell paid tribute to his grandfather, delivering the eulogy of Jimmy Monaghan.
4. Kevin Costner And Ashton Kutcher Teamed
Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher have been cast in a new film project entitled The Guardian.(Ed. note: who's idea was this?)
5. David Arquette On MTV
David Arquette is playing a rodent in a pilot for an MTV show. (Ed. note: There's a reach.)