Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Tuesday List, "Making light of the situation" edition

HOW PEAK OIL WILL AFFECT US THROUGH LESS-PUBLICIZED PETROLEUM PRODUCTS:


1. Lucite: Shortage of clear stripper shoes, paperweight factories shuttered.

2. Acrylic: The airbrushed nail industry collapses.

3. Styrene: Indian restaurants will put your leftovers in leaky paper bags.

4. Waxes: Apples less shiny, bikini lines unlandscaped.

5. Vinyl: S&M shops forced to consider alternatives, pretentious bands reconsider releasing 45s for retro-cool cred, crazy old ladies confronted with dilemma when considering how to cover their furniture.

6. Vaseline: Pageant winners' smiles less gleaming, widespread chafing.

2 comments:

  1. Uh-oh. All the strip joints on Broadway will be rioting without those stripper heels!

    And maybe if bikini lines go unlandscaped, some people will realize it's high time to stop torturing themselves.

    ReplyDelete