Wednesday, September 28, 2005


No, not this Patsy:

These Patsies:

Lynndie England, a.k.a. Private Cabbage Patch
(This girl can get a boyfriend and I can't even get a date. WTF?)

Michael Brown, a.k.a. "Brownie," a.k.a. "Pretty Pony Club President"
(Wins the John Bolton award for enthusiastic incompetence)

Now, don't get me wrong. I am glad that these two degenerates got whupped in their respective forums for public chastisement. But does it seem entirely fair that a barely literate woman, highly susceptible to authority, a private in the Army, is taking the fall for what was obviously a mode of operation dictated by the highest levels of government? Does it seem fair that this white-trash girl is going down for the likes of Rumsfeld? Of course, what she did was reprehensible, and by all accounts she should have known better. But the fact remains that we're sending a single mother to jail in disgrace for something a bunch of rich white guys ordered.

And Brown. Let's talk about Brown. Brown is a jackass. A complete and utter buffoon, whose attempts at reading the teleprompted lines from Rove are so transparent he might as well be sitting in front of a cue card guy at his hearings. This guy actually said "I do not want to make this partisan, so I can't help it that Alabama and Mississippi are governed by Republican governors and Louisiana is governed by a Democratic governor."

He can't even do the talking points right. His attempts to cover his own ass are as disgusting as they are false. But here's the thing. Do you think this guy wanted to be in charge during something like Katrina? The likely scenario is that Bush put him into this position to return a favor, imagining it to be more or less a cake job where the most Brownie would have to do is don a haz mat suit and look stylish for the TV cameras. Brown, like England, is going down for something bigger than himself. While England is going to jail because she followed the blatantly illegal orders of her boyfriend and superiors, Brown is going down in flames for being put in a position he was never prepared for by a man for whom political appointments are the equivalent of corporate Christmas gifts.

Make no mistake- Brown and England are stupid, stupid people who did very bad things. This much is true. But we're never going to stop feeling the effects of stupid people doing bad things unless we look at the cronyism and corruption that Browns and Englands need to exist.


  1. I don't think you want the kind of boyfriend that Lynndie England gets!

  2. I go to Brown & England for all my haberdashery needs.

    Lynndie doesn't have so much a 'boyfriend' as a 'truly creepy superior officer and jailbird'. Perhaps she could hook up with Brown. Nice man, loves horses.

  3. Is Lyndie England:

    a) A bad apple
    b) Victim of fetyl-alcohol syndrome
    c) Wally Cleaver impersonator
    d) Just following orders (from Rumsfeld, Gonzales and Sanchez)
    e) All of the above


  4. Now Vespa, Auntie Gav does not approve of comparing oneself to Lynndie England.

    Yeah, I know they always have a date. I've labored at understanding this.

  5. "This girl can get a boyfriend and I can't even get a date. WTF?)

    Never really thought about that, now I'm depressed.