Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Tuesday Lists: Too Busy To Be Original Edition

WHAT THOREAU IS MISSING
BY SHANNON PEACH

- - - -
The satisfaction of bolting together his own particleboard furniture from Ikea

Having his own reality show: American Evildoer, or So You Think You Can Oppose a War?

Petroleum-based processed-cheese food products

Fender Strats

McDonald's Fruit & Walnut Salad with the revolutionary green plastic fork

Lite rock, less talk

Unlimited anytime minutes

The visible-thong phenomenon

UPIN20MINS

Co-hosting telethons with Don Henley to save Walden Woods



METHODS OTHER THAN SONG BY WHICH ONE CAN BE KILLED SOFTLY

BY JONATHAN HOLLEY AND EMILY LAWTON

- - - -

Chinchilla attack

Asphyxiation by cupcake

Egyptian tomb booby-trapped with goose down

Smothering by fatties

Poison meringue

Allergic reaction to cashmere

Stuffed animal avalanche

Heart attack induced by 16-year-old girl's skin

2 comments:

  1. Hmmm...

    BlackBerries
    ATVs all over Yosemite
    Superfund sites
    Star Trek
    The New Pornographers
    The ouvre of Jenna Jameson
    Candy ravers
    Bjork
    Strangers With Candy
    Methodone
    The Prius

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am all about the bolting of Ikea furniture. But, dammit, I didn't get any particleboard!

    (If I never see another hex wrench it'll be too soon)

    ReplyDelete