Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tuesday List: "Was This Helpful?" edition

SELECT COMMENTS IN AMAZON REVIEWS OF THE BIBLE

1. "Right, I am beginning to get annoyed, this is my fourth review of the bible on amazon, the other three have all been removed, presumably because someone complained about them."

2. "And the holy bible is awesome! Have you read it?! It is freakin' awesome, and that's all there is to say!"

3. "I can't believe you bible haters! Don't you recognize awesomeness holiness in a book when you read it?!?!?!?"

4. "Only fools talk bad about God's word. You don't understand it because you hate it. Get over your anger of religion if you want to be religious. If not you better hope you are right about HELL, because that is where you are going. God Bless."

5. "Some idiots say that the Bible is a fairy tale, and even one moron's review said that Christans should be 'ashamed'.However, the reviewer never said why: STUPED! Sinners go to Hell!"

6. "This book is decent, but I think that the author is expecting us to believe a bit much."

7. "The Holy Bible Rocks!"

8. "He does do a good job of flooding the earth and killing most everyone which is kind of cool, but again, kind of mean."

9. "I thought the whole "He's Dead!!!" , "No He's not!!" ending was a bit weak and the "Deus ex machina" thing really had been done before..."

10. "The King James version is a bit heavier than your typical bible, making it more useful to smite foes with."

ed. note: I had originally begun a list where I picked out phrases from a Free Republic forum on Christmas. I was thinking hey, comedy gold! But what I found was that you get those freepers talking about Christmastime and it's like hanging out with a barfly on Christmas Eve in some smoky, two-bit tavern in the Quad Cities or something. These are seriously depressed, angry people this time of year. No wonder they feed their anger with the "war on Christmas" as soon as the turkey leftovers from Thanksgiving are all wrapped up. The anger at the above-linked discussion is just staggering . ..

7 comments:

  1. 11. It's killed 28 cockroaches dead, and shows no sign of slowing down!

    12. Best portrayal of somebody with multiple personality disorder since "Sybil"!

    13. The must-have book for any preacher roaming the streets of a major city with his creepy von Trapp family of screaming youngsters!

    14. Three words: GOD AIN'T BULLSHITTIN'!

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  2. I think it's a little long, plus it takes forever to get to the point, which seems to change halfway through. And that last part is just weird.

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  3. Christianity is just a fad. Don't worry.

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  4. CVLTVRE MADE STVPID (a very, very funny book) has a very amusing half-page synopsis of the Bible. Along with a list of characters and a summary of events, it concludes with "Theme: Self-improvement". That's always tickled me.


    (My verification word is sdxet, which sounds vaguely dirty...)

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  5. I put up my own review at Amazon.com. It was fun!

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