Saturday, April 30, 2005

Action cat



I know, it's not Friday. But I love this pic because Audrey recently learned to catch. When you throw the pig at her, she jumps in the air like a puppy to catch it.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Jackie is a punk, Judy is a runt . . .





Your Taste in Music:


Punk: Highest Influence
90's Alternative: High Influence
Adult Alternative: High Influence
Alternative Rock: High Influence
Classic Rock: High Influence
80's Alternative: Medium Influence
80's Pop: Medium Influence
90's Pop: Medium Influence
90's R&B: Medium Influence
90's Rock: Medium Influence
Dance: Medium Influence
Old School Hip Hop: Medium Influence
80's R&B: Low Influence
80's Rock: Low Influence
90's Hip Hop: Low Influence
Progressive Rock: Low Influence
R&B: Low Influence
Ska: Low Influence

What I meant to say was "the evil empire."

It had been a long time since I'd laughed out loud (or LOL'd, as those kids say on the Internets) at the local news. But when Adele Arakawa, our local news valkyrie with bad hair and worse eyeshadow, said that Ken Salazar had called Focus on the Family "The Anti-Christ of the World," I scared the cat out of the room.

Now, admittedly, I had recently been thinking man, that Salazar, he is about as useful to Colorado as a plasma-screen TV is to Stevie Wonder.

But then he goes and calls Focus on the Family the Anti-Christ.

I know that later he backpedaled a bit, and I know he explained that he meant that they were "anti-Christian" in their moneygrubbing and judgemental ways. But still, there was that one shining moment where Ken Salazar was just as crazy as all those ideologues on the other side. If nothing else, it was great in sheer comic value.

In other news, last night I couldn't really sleep. Wanna know why? My upstairs neighbors were going at it, and whoever SHE is was producing these vaulting arias of Maria Callas proportions ALL NIGHT LONG. The roomie came home and said she could hear her OUTSIDE the building (and my Colorado readers know that it is blizzarding, so it's not like their windows were open). By round three the cat was staring right at the ceiling, like she was wondering who was getting murdered up there.

Sheesh.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Will Durst . . . pretty much rules

Go read.

If you can't be bothered to read the whole schpeil, here are some highlights:


Welcome back to Meet the Press. In this segment we welcome as our guest the distinguished representative from the Third District of Wyoming. Congressman, as you know, the D.C. Police have announced today that the House Majority Leader has been found naked in a bathtub next to a dead prostitute, hugging a bloody axe, the suspected murder weapon, to his chest, with the words 'Yes, I did it. Me.' written with the victim's blood on the bathroom mirror in the congressman's own handwriting. We've just heard a senior member of the Minority delegation voice his argument as to why the leader deserves to have at least one if not both of his hands slapped. Do you sir, agree with this punishment which would involve the admonishment of a member of your own party?"

"Thank you Tim. With all due respect to my good friend of long standing and esteemed associate from across the aisle, I condemn this character assassination of our revered leader, so obviously a scurrilous partisan attack, solely meant to distract we, the party of ideas, from accomplishing the tasks the good and hard working people of America sent us here to Washington to achieve. I will tell you who the true victim is here, and it's not this alleged 'prostitute.' It's America, Tim. And America is crying because it is abundantly clear this is simply an assault by the radical left-wing press as part of their fundamental agenda to tear down the leader's leadership, in which he excels by leading.

¡Olé!





Your Inner European is Spanish!









Energetic and lively.

You bring the party with you!


Wayne Allard: World-Class Assclown

OK, so my Dad forwarded me Allard's response to his letter Re: the Judicial Filibuster. Get a load of this:

Dear [Dad]:

Thank you for writing concerning judicial nominations and the role of the United States Senate in this process. As you know, the Constitution dictates that the President shall nominate, and by and with the advice and consent of the Senate, shall appoint judges of the Federal Court.


Yes, thank you for writing. It makes me feel important when my minions write me letters quaintly telling me and my party to stop trying to take over the world. Now here's a gross oversimplification of the Federal dictates on judicial appointments.

Concerns relating to the pace of the confirmation process, procedural changes, judicial ideology and filibusters have played an important role in the Senate's ongoing battle to fulfill this duty.

Oh, so now it's a battle to do your job. Maybe if you weren't trying to appoint corporate lackeys and ideologues, it would be a little easier.

In light of recent terrorist attacks, it is readily apparent that we face a new age of global unrest, a world in which terror has replaced formal declarations of war as the major threat against freedom and democracy.

Attacks. Plural. Huh.

You see, the filibuster leaves us vulnerable to (get this) the TERRORISTS!! These guys would evoke 9/11 to get the afternoon off. "I need uh, two hours today of personal time. To uh . . . personally fight terrorism."

A necessary component of providing justice to those who would do harm to
our nation is to maintain an efficient court system - a court equipped with the personnel and resources that enable it to fulfill its role as a pillar of our constitutional system of governance.


. . . meaning that they will conveniently ignore the Constitution when it doesn't play well with our ideas. PATRIOT Act, anyone?

The current filibusters of President Bush's Circuit Court nominees clearly demonstrates an active effort by a minority of Senators to block the confirmation of well-qualified judicial nominees. I firmly believe that these tactics have damaged the judicial nomination process to an unacceptable degree, and now it must be corrected. It is shameful that the action of a handful of Senators has created a vacancy crisis that threatens the service of the very justice upon which our great nation depends.

So shameful, in fact, that Mr. Allard can't bring himself to mention that the GOP used precisely the same tactics to block the confirmation of ONE THIRD of Clinton's judicial nominations.

The Senate must move to end this stalemate, and act quickly to restore faith in the Constitutional process. I continue to urge my colleagues in the Senate to act diligently and to fill the vacancies that plague our courts. Some have suggested that diligent action requires a change in Senate Rule 22, a measure introduced by Majority Leader Bill Frist. I am actively engaged in this procedural debate and, should this matter proceed to the Senate floor, will act in a manner that is faithful to my constituents and respectful of the Constitution.

Yes, in order to "restore faith" in the Constitutional process, we must bypass it completely. And honestly, looking at the nominees so far, a vacancy isn't so much a plague on the courts right now as it is a blessing.

Aside from the effects of the slow confirmation pace of the 108th Congress, the filibuster of President Bush's nominees threatens the integrity of the Constitution, imposing a super-majority requirement where a simple majority was envisioned by the founders. I will continue to support responsible measures and procedures aimed at ending this obstructionist tactic.

Hey Wayne. Yeah, you, the guy with a face like a spiral-cut ham. You know what would really threaten the integrity of the Consitution? Destruction of separation of powers. Elimination of checks and balances. Smart Republicans like McCain understand this. You, on the other hand . . . well, let's just say that you are like that little dog that trips along behind big dog Frist, constantly asking what the two of you are going to do next.

When the nomination finally comes before the Senate, I will support the confirmation of those individuals who will uphold the Constitution, abide by the text of the law, and who will resist temptations to legislate from the bench. In Federalist Number 78, Alexander Hamilton wrote that Judges are the guardians of the constitution, "The courts must declare the sense of the law; and if they should be disposed to exercise will instead of judgment, the consequence would equally be the substitution of their pleasure to that of the legislative body."

Read that part carefully. "Resist temptations to legislate from the bench." If others had resisted that temptation, blacks and whites would still be drinking from separate water fountains. Women would not be allowed to vote. I suppose that wouldn't be a problem for Wayne, but it is a problem for a lot of other people. And don't you take Alexander Hamilton's words out of context to support your twisted little plan, Wayne. If you read the rest of the Federalist papers (which I strongly doubt you have) you'd find that Madison in fact states:

No political truth is certainly of greater intrinsic value, or is stamped with the authority of more enlightened patrons of liberty, than that on which the objection is founded. The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands, whether of one, a few or many, and whether hereditary, self-appointed, or elective, may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny.


One Party rule ain't good, Wayne. Isn't it your president who's always yammering on about the elimination of tyranny?

You can be assured that I will continue to urge my colleagues in the Senate to move expeditiously toward the confirmation of well-qualified judicial nominees. It is time to show the American people that the Senate is indeed interested in the service of justice.

Well, Wayne, once you put some of those "well qualified" nominees up for appointment, let us know.

Sincerely,

Wayne Allard
United States Senator

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

If we're winning, I don't want to know what it's like to lose

The insurgents are now murdering their "elected" officials.

And what gets me is the people who comment on Truth Teller to tell him how great things are going over there. He is living in Mosul and doing what he can just to keep his daughters and wife safe in the midst of a war zone. He says security is improving but slowly, and that as a doctor he is finding it harder than ever to find and secure supplies. He is there. We are not. And yet, people who almost certainly support the war in such meaningful ways as with magnetic ribbons and posts on Free Republic imagine they know better just how good he has it.

Some examples:


"lisa, ny":
I'm not going to deny that people were hurt in Fallujah. But no one can deny that it had become a terrorist stronghold and something needed to be done. Something was done and Iraq is better for it.



"Lynette in Minnesota"
Truth Teller, when spreading propaganda it is best to be a little more subtle. You were more believable when you let your daughters slip it into their blogs [ . . .]

But what I do see on this blog and on Najma's and HNK's is a pattern of implying anything anti-American that they can. Obviously they have every right to their opinions. But to ask their readers to believe everything that they do, without actual proof, is foolish.



"maddog:"
Could you please identify which group of Iraqis, who, in the millions, voted (and risked their lives) for Democracy early this year, who now identify with what you are now beginning to publish on your "blog"?

I've got a sense of humor, as does everyone, but... I'm not buying the BS you are telling now.



"anonymous:"
If U.S. were to pull out of your country tonight with in a week you all would be living under the rule of another dictator probably as bad if not worst than saddam.

But in my opinion if your country is so much worse now maybe they should free saddam and let him get it back to the good life you all enjoyed!


To be fair, there are plenty of sympathetic voices on there, too. The magic of the Internet has given us something that perhaps has never been done in any previous war- a chance to discourse with the people whose countries are actually being occupied. For those who want to, they can cut through the propoganda being fed to them by corporate news networks and actually discuss what is going on with people who are there.

Some people appreciate this. Some people don't. Obviously some people go to Truth Teller's website hoping to find out that he's just pleased as punch that American forces have invaded, hoping to find a post that talks about just how great the new democracy is going and how grateful he is to the heroic American military. And when they find that he has significant problems with the occupation, they attack him for threatening their beliefs of what they have come to understand is a "just" war.

Sadly, this has become the MO for many of Bush's supporters. They don't dialogue, they don't understand dialogue. They understand what they are told and when conflicting ideas come up, they reject them rather than change their belief structure. Is it any wonder that so many of his supporters are fundamentalists? Bush uses political evangelism, political fundamentalism, to win over the vast swaths of society that are allergic to uncertainty.

Anyway. Check out the Iraqi blogs. They are worth it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Fo' all my English Major Peeps

From The Onion:

National Poetry Month Raises Awareness Of Poetry Prevention
NEW YORK—This month marks the 10th National Poetry Month, a campaign created in 1996 to raise public awareness of the growing problem of poetry. "We must stop this scourge before more lives are exposed to poetry," said Dr. John Nieman of the American Poetry Prevention Society at a Monday fundraising luncheon. "It doesn't just affect women. Young people, particularly morose high-school and college students, are very susceptible to this terrible affliction. It is imperative that we eradicate poetry now, before more rainy afternoons are lost to it." Nieman said some early signs of poetry infection include increased self-absorption and tea consumption.

Tuesday lists

FUN WITH REAL SPAM SUBJECT HEADINGS:

- Mr. Colon has $624,932 for your family

Well, tell Mr. Colon he can cram it!

- Penis broken? This will fix it.

Uh . . . it was like that when I got here.

- 36hrs to make love!!! thats just crazy

. . . like a FOX!

- Bedroom tips

Tip one: paint one wall a contrasting color to create the illusion of depth.

- hub psyche woodard invest hydrothermal tahiti

uh huh.

- Don't be an asshole, Eileen.

Yeah, come on, Eileen.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Bruce Springsteen: Smarter than he looks

So I was watching "Bruce Springsteen Storytellers" Saturday night (it was an off-night, OK?) and while I'm not really a big Bruce fan, I did like what he had to say. It's funny, because he has this growly sort of plumber, mechanic-type voice but he says the most erudite and philosophical things. Like this:


"I believe that whatever divinity we can lay claim to is deep within the core of our humanity."


Whoa.

And then there's Norbizness, who has a collection of "shorters" from Star Wars movies that pretty priceless. A warning- do not consume liquids while reading.
Examples
Luke: I don't understand how we got by those troops. I thought we were dead.
Obi-Wan: The Fox News Channel can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
C-3PO: I beg your pardon General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper.
Han Solo: Proper?
C-3PO: It's against my programming to impersonate a deity.
Han Solo: Don't make me CTRL-ALT-DEL your ass.


Ah, good stuff.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Stupid partisan politics- oh wait, Colin Powell is involved?

Bolton's baggage

Considering what I've heard about this Bolton character, I know I wouldn't hire him to do the night shift at a Walgreens, much less hire him as ambassador to the UN.

Colin Powell is saying he'd make an "abyssmal ambassador," which is not only among the cooler alliterative phrases I can think of, but is also probably true, seeing as how the man has more mood swings than a bipolar, pregnant meth head.

Voinovich has the balls to stand up and say that he has reservations appointing someone who has been described by his coworkers as "a madman" (read: not a people person). And for this, he is called a "traitor" to the Republican party rather than its saving grace.

But the fact of the matter remains that unless another Kerik can be pulled on this Bolton guy, he will get appointed to the UN and get to act, as Randi Rhodes so aptly said, "like an international butthead." Which means that once again we will be putting a bull in the global china shop. Why would the Bush administration want this? To further the notion that the UN is anti-Bush, anti-Democracy and anti-America when they fail to support Bolton and his sure-to-be assinine ideas once he is appointed. Rove and his buddies are working to discredit every institution they dislike, starting with the courts, the ACLU and the National Education Association and ending with the UN. They are painting each of these organizations as "activist" groups, out of touch with America's real needs.

Not good.

But on the bright side, if we CAN get this guy to crack, like we got Kerik to crack, we can delay this process a little longer. There's a flip side to this, too, though, since every time someone is blocked in that way, it is spinned as "obstructionism" and further discredits Democrats as party politicians. However, I think it is probably worth it . . . if we have to be seen as obstructionists in order to save the filibuster, the judicial system, the UN and, by extension, our position in the world, I guess we'll have to be seen as obstructionists.

It's all semantics, which is a game we need to learn how to play. Last night on the Daily Show, there was an interview with Frank Luntz, that disgusting man who does all of the Bush propoganda, from "Clear Skies" to "Estate Tax." Samantha Bee asked him to spin a list of phrases into favorable language (from this site):


BEE (to Luntz): I'm going to read you some words. Help me warm these up a bit.

LUNTZ: O.K.

BEE: Drilling for oil.

LUNTZ: I would say: "Responsible Exploration for Energy."

BEE: Logging.

LUNTZ: I would say: "Healthy Forests."

BEE: Manipulation.

LUNTZ: Explanation and education.

BEE: Orwellian.

LUNTZ: ...


Explanation and education. Right.

Friday vacation pic blogging



In honor of Passover:
The Second Ave. Deli in the Village. I dig the Hebrew numbers on the clock . . .

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Validation!

So, not really thinking about it, I sent a couple of clips off to the Society for Professional Journalists Best of Colorado contest. Well, turns out I must be a real writer after all 'cuz today I got the news that I had placed in the Arts and Entertainment Review/Column category.

I won't know how I placed or for what piece until the banquet May 13. But it made my day anyway.

So, Woo!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Those crazy lefties in Utah, Virginia

So. It seems that those commies out in Utah and Virginia decided that No Child Left Behind was not for them. Utah managed to reject the pieces of legislation that were problematic for them, but Virginia's appeal for a waiver was denied. Those states-rights Republicans and their demands that all schools meet federal guidelines.

Sorry, but you know that a Republican policy is beyond bad when not even Utah and Virginia will toe the party line on it.

Meanwhile, though I'm not usually the type to link to a blog just for the witty comments, there is a thread going on at Atrios right now mocking John Gibson's assertion on Fox News that Sadaam was somehow behind the Oklahoma City Bombing. So far the commenters have also fingered Sadaam for:

-Killing the radio star
-Stealing the number 7
-Writing the screenplay for Gigli
-Inventing disco
-Being the fifth Beetle
-Assassinating Franz Ferdinand

Ah, good times.

While I'm doing the blogaround thing, I also point you to the brilliant captioning of Norbizness. Do it for the banjo getaway music alone.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Bye bye, Time Magazine

OK, so I was getting Time Magazine for free but I cancelled anyway. Why? Because Mantis Coulter is on the cover this week, she was named in the "Time 100" last week and I'm getting mighty sick of Krauthammer's smug ramblings on the "success" of the Bush doctrine. But here's what I sent into the black hole that is the TIME inbox.

I was disappointed in your decision to name President Bush as "Person of the Year," when that year had seen the slaughter of thousands of innocents in Iraq due to his misguided and reckless foreign policy.

I was disappointed in your decision to laud our nation's staunchest evangelicals, who consistently gain financial and political support due to ideologies of hate and exclusion.

I was disappointed in your decision to run column after column lauding the president's "doctrine" when it has only served to create instability and insurrection in every nation it has touched, and I was further disappointed to see you name several subscribers to this doctrine in your "Time 100" list earlier this month.

But the last straw was the placement of political hack and outright hatemonger Ann Coulter on the cover of your magazine. Coulter does nothing to promote intellectual discourse in this country, and it is clear she will do and say anything to gain media notoriety. At last glance, your online poll showed that 84 percent of your readers think she contributes nothing of value to the political discussion. Your mention of her on the "100" list and your promotion of her as the subject of your cover story finally tipped the scales and I have cancelled my subscription. The fact that the Right is the winning team right now means that balanced media is all the more crucial, and I am dismayed to see that your publication has succumbed to pressure to promote the current administration.

Tuesday lists

RAMONES SONGS THAT DOUBLE AS EXCUSES FOR NOT SHOWING UP TO WORK:

1.The KKK Took My Baby Away
2.Teenage Lobotomy
3.Psychotherapy
4.All Screwed Up
5.Death Of Me
6.Anxiety
7.Cretin Family
8.Daytime Dilemma
9.Endless Vacation
10.I Don't Care
11.I Can't Make It On Time
12.This Business is Killing Me
13.Touring
14.Mental Hell

Monday, April 18, 2005

Venture Brothers- again, my new reason to live



Pleeeeease, how stupid do I look to you? World domination. I'll leave that to the religious nuts and the Republicans, thank you. But I wouldn't be so quick to judge. The Monarch has his hands in many sinister soups. Just an... off day.

¿Qué Onda Guero?

The new Beck is just so very sweet. Highly recommended. With a sample from the Beastie Boys' "Whatcha Want" and a song with bass riffs from Jack White, how can it not be? It goes on the short list of perfect convertible music I've been enjoying these past sunny days; along with the Ramones, the Zutons and Arcade Fire. I'm kind of disappointed in the new Moby (Hotel) but there are a couple of good ones on there, too. Moby seems to be searching through the album for a perfect makeout song . . . and listening to it on your own just feels kind of sad.

Anyway. I found this on my news trawling today:
Bullies Need Not Apply

It's kind of an interesting look at the appointment of John Bolton (or as I like to call him, Mr. Bush's Attach Schnauzer). What struck me most was this statement:
Bolton is the classic swaggerer who never served in uniform but conspicuously places on his office desk a brass hand grenade.


Couldn't this really be used to describe most Bush appointees? With the notable exception of Colin Powell, his favorite "type" seems to be belligerent but fiercely loyal individuals who have never actually seen military action but have very clear-cut notions of how it should be used. And whether or not they actually have any real qualifications for the job is completely secondary to the fact that they have a track record in Bush-doctrine, black-and-white decision making.

This is why Bush would appoint Ted Nugent as the head of ATF. Moderation is like anathema to this administration . . . the louder and more irritating you are, as long as you have proven loyalty to the Neocon mission, the more appealing you are as a leader.

. . . or this is a big scheme on getting the US out of the UN.

Friday, April 15, 2005

O for chrissakes . . .

From Wayne Allard:
SENATOR ALLARD SPONSORS

FLAG PROTECTION AMENDMENT

WASHINGTON, D.C. — U.S. Senator Wayne Allard (R-Colorado), on Thursday joined with Senators Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) and Dianne Feinstein (D-California) to sponsor the Flag Protection Amendment. The bill would amend the Constitution to ensure the right of the Congress to pass legislation protecting the American flag.

“It is high time that we restored the ability of the American people to protect the American flag,” Senator Allard said. “This ability has been eroded over the years by judicial decisions that have stripped away the people’s right to protect the symbol of our great nation. This right can only be restored by a constitutional amendment that will ensure that future generations, if they choose to do so, will be able to protect the American flag without interference from the courts.”

In 1989, the Supreme Court struck down long-standing state laws that protected the physical integrity of the flag. In response, Congress passed the Flag Protection Act of 1989, which was subsequently struck down by the Supreme Court in 1990.

“We proudly display our flag as a symbol of the ideals we stand for as a nation,” Senator Allard said. “It is only fitting that America’s citizens, through their elected representatives, have the ability to protect our national symbol from desecration.”


Another idiot chips away at separation of powers . . .

Friday vacation pic blogging


St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Brooklyn

Thursday, April 14, 2005

What the hell is this?

Okay, as much as I wouldn't mind having enough money to purchase one of these homes, I just don't get why a $289,000 loft has anything in the world to do with Jack Kerouac. Are there little stash-holes built into the kitchen cabinetry? Do they have short leases so you can hit the road and not settle down for too long? These are almost the opposite of anything Kerouac, as they are built on the steamrolled, hygenically scoured central Platte Valley area of Denver that was once home to exactly the kinds of drug-addled and misguided individuals that Kerouac ran with before the tech boom made lower downtown Denver an acceptable place to live again.

I've had it with corporations co-opting literary figures to make money. You've got your "Hemingway Collection" from Thomasville Furniture, now you've got "Jack Kerouac Lofts," both of which are seriously high-end products that mere writers and certainly English majors such as myself would have a hard time justifying.

So what's next?
Some suggestions for more grossly inappropriate beat poet tie-ins:

Dorothy Parker lingerie
Allen Ginsburg baby care products
William Burroughs naked Lunchables

*****Updated to include teh l4m3's contribution: Sylvia Plath Oven Cleaner.*****

Again, more developments in popular culture that just make me wish for a brutal uprising of the undead . . . zombie beat poets storming slick Madison Avenue skyscrapers to beat the living crap out of branding managers who would dare use their names to sell real estate and furniture.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

More fun with our local crazy guy

I've dissected this guy's stuff before . . . he is a local shut-in who sends stuff into the paper and sadly, gets published most of the time. His wife must have put the parcheesi game on the top shelf this week, because he's fired of at least a half-dozen screeds in the past few days and they are just so very lovely.

The latest: the ACLU is a pack of Stalinist-Nazi-Pinkos!!

Apparently, it is not enough for some liberals to deny and refute the statements of conservatives. Now some intolerant leftists want to silence opposing viewpoints ("O'Reilly and others spouting rubbish", April 11), just as if they lived in the U.S.S.R or Nazi Germany, political systems more appropriate to their twisted thinking.

Indeed, it is not enough for us, who feed on the blood of the living, to deny and refute statements by such truthtellers as Bill O'Reilly. Verily, we must silence them all! (actually, the letter saying that Bill O'Reilly was full of it was not at all about censorship, mostly just a statement that our paper is too good to publish the rantings of such a clearly deranged man . . . more of a quality assessment than anything else)

America's political system requires open debate and honest discussion to be successful, while non-democratic governments maintain control by suppressing opinions with which they disagree. The latter sounds very much like the liberals ideal: no public comment unless they agree with it. This is the same garbage we suffered through with the broadcast television media; only liberal opinions will be tolerated, conservatives not welcome.

Ah, open debate and honest discussion. The hallmarks of Bill "Cut His Mike" O'Reilly's commentary. And I really don't know what kind of broadcast television media this guy is watching if he's finding that "conservatives are not welcome."

The ACLU is a pox on this country. They interfere with proper jurisprudence, they support anti-American causes and individuals, and undermine the spirit of this country by constantly disrupting our government and judicial processes. To add insult to injury, they do it with taxpayer funds, so in essence, they are working against us with our own money. This needs to be changed and soon.

Yes! please take away the organization that makes it possible for me to rant on using unfounded allegations and false syllogisms!

Judicial filibustering is a NEW, repeat, NEW and illegal tactic invented by the liberals to block proper consideration of judicial nominees, and MUST be stopped. If the Senate decides that the "Constitutional Option" is necessary to rein in the unlawful liberal left and give these nominees their proper "up-or-down vote", then the liberal idiots who have perverted the system will get what they deserve, a return to reason and the word of law.

Actually, it NOT, repeat, NOT new, the filibuster is a technique that has existed in our legislative process for at least a century. And considering Strom Thurmond won the record for filibustering the Civil Rights Act in 1964, anyone who thinks that liberals invented it must on the crazy glue self-medication plan. Not to mention the fact that Bill Frist did it to Clinton back in the 90s. And if the filibuster is eliminated, everyone will be in exactly the same shitstorm, whether you identify with this guy or if you, like me, are a proud member of the "unlawful liberal left." (sounds like a crimefighting team to me, like the Mighty Morphin Power Pinkos).

Bill O'Reilly is quite right when he says that we, as a nation, should not fund or support a legal institution like the A.C.L.U., one that is dedicated to destroying our political system, or the people who support the A.C.L.U. or advocate stifling public opinions. Whether you believe it or not, such people are working against what this country stands for; liberty, truth, and justice. None of these virtues can be found in the A.C.L.U., or the liberals who support such anti-American institutions.

Oy vey, where to begin? The A.C.L.U. is devoted to free speech of all kinds, from Nazis to the KKK to Ward Churchill to Michael Moore to Strom Thurmond to this idiot. While many on the right argue that those on the left want freedom with out responsibilities, this guy is arguing against himself- that we should deny the A.C.L.U. but promote freedom of speech. But honestly, this guy is unhinged. He sent in a letter this week with the subject line "Tom DeLay Understands the Constitution."

I doubt even most wingnuts would agree with that.

But this guy is so exemplary of the isolated Western wingnut. He lives in a sphere separate from the real world, with no contact outside of FOX news and his subscriptions to the National Review. I would argue that extremists on either end are equally out of touch with reality, and this guy is certainly on the fringe.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Tuesday lists

SCREEN NAMES OF MEMBERS OF WWW.FAIRECHASERS.COM, A RENAISSANCE FAIRE ENTHUSIAST SITE:

-WaywardWendy
-Sir Clisto
-FaeandMerfolk
-Joustwarrior
-LadyWolfsong
-Yopo
-Duncan Mcguyver
-siouxlandrenwench
-rennusgeekus
-Richard
-PubWench (damn, someone beat me to it!)


TOWN NAMES THAT WOULD PROBABLY DISAPPOINT, IF TAKEN AS DESCRIPTORS FOR THE TOWNS THEMSELVES

-Surprise, Nebraska
-What Cheer, Iowa
-Zap, North Dakota
-Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina
-Romance, Arkansas

THINGS THAT, DESPITE THEIR BEST EFFORTS, VARIOUS SINGERS/BANDS CAN'T DO:

-Drive 55
-Go On Living Without You
-Make You Love Me
-Get Next To You
-Help Falling In Love With You
-Forget
-Wait
-Tell You Why
-Get Behind That

THINGS THAT VARIOUS SINGERS/BANDS JUST PLAIN WON'T DO:

-Dance
-Back Down
-Be Your Yoko Ono (extra bonus points for whoever knows who won't do that)
-Grow Up
-Crap Out

Monday, April 11, 2005

MONORAIL! MONORAIL!

And it continues . . .

Got this link via Norbizness' big news roundup from today. Not only is it almost illegal to pedal this shortsighted "plan" to "reform" Social Security, but it is only being pedaled in front of hand-picked audiences who have expressed loyalty to the Bush Regime. What is the fucking point? And why have they paid 2.2 million to do this?

Just to put this in some perspective, 2.2 million dollars is:

-The amount spent to increase AIDS awareness and Family Planning in Zambia
-The amount given by Unicef to Ethiopia to fight Polio
-The amount given to Morocco by the The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies, following a recent earthquake

In the grand scheme of things, especially by American standards and particularly by the standards of the privileged, like Bush, 2.2 million might not seem like a lot. But there are better applications for 2.2 million dollars, and spending it on PR for a program that has low to no public support is just stupid.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Rest assured, America- fat idiots with rifles have your back.



What do you bet these people change their tune when tomatoes reach $7 per pound?

The money shot, of course, comes from Norbizness via the Houston Chronicle:


Yeah, the proud face of America, right there.

Here's what I have:
-These have all the misplaced enthusiasm of a Civil War reinactment group but none of the actual ambition.
-These people fail to see the irony that the area they are so fervently patrolling WAS MEXICO until 1848.
-I could outrun these guys. And everyone who knows me knows that I don't run.

Friday vacation pic blogging



An architectural salvage yard on the Lower East side, near the Village.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Ugly men and their ugly deeds

To quote Maureen Dowd in today's NYT:
"When Dick Cheney tells you you've gone too far, you know you're way over the edge."

Doesn't he look a bit like the horse guy from Ren and Stimpy?



"No sir, I don't like it."

Cartoonish faces aside, this is so interesting because DeLay could easily become the fall guy for the entire administration. If we let him. I think that there needs to be a plan in place to make absolutely sure that no misdeeds by people other than Tom DeLay will fall down the memory hole when Tom takes the fall. In fact, there is a plan in place, thanks to Shakespeare's Sister, to deal with the whole circus that is bound to come from all this:

This is our collective job as I see it:

1. Celebrate.

2. Refuse to allow the GOP to singularly pin DeLay as the face of their radical agenda. They’ve gone too far, and they know it. They need someone to take a fall, and DeLay, the coverage of whose blatant malfeasance was getting ever more difficult to contain, was the best option. If they are successful in sticking him with the sole responsibility for the insidious wingnuttery that has gripped our Congress, they will be able to distance themselves from their agenda as its designated posterboy crumbles and return to promoting the same extremism behind the scenes, as they were before they crossed the line. What we cannot do is allow them to effectively use DeLay to draw a line between them and their abhorrent objectives. He was an operative—a damn successful one, but still just an operative nonetheless. They will want to use him as a scapegoat; it’s up to us to make sure everything they’ve done stays attached to them, and all sense of the need for accountability doesn’t leave with DeLay.

3. Make sure that a DeLay departure does not usurp media attention if Frist goes for the nuclear option. There would undoubtedly be a media frenzy surrounding a DeLay fall from grace; it would be the perfect time for Frist and his minions to surreptitiously pass, as Mr. Shakes calls it, the “this country is now a dictatorship” legislation, rendering filibusters obsolete.

Nothing happens in a vacuum with this administration. DeLay suddenly having lost his protection, finding himself naked, cold, and alone on the front page of the Washington Post, was not inevitable, not in this media climate. This is an orchestrated takedown, and you can bet your boots it’s a red herring for something. We’ve just got to make sure we keep our eyes peeled for exactly what that something is.


Shorter: if Frist gets Frisky in the Senate, we need to keep the heat on.

This is not a mistake or a surprise to anyone- something's up.

In the meantime, I might just hold a party when he DOES go down, because it's important to eat, drink and be merry in these times. It's what keeps us from living like Winston Smith.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

It's National Poetry Month

Here's a choice reimagining of several poetic works from Corndoggerel.

Favorite poem of the day (Like most writers who can't write their own poetry, I have about eleventy billion favorite poems)

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker



And hey, what do you know:

Which poem are you?

Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda

Aw, you're a romantic. You believe in true love and all that sort of stuff. How cute are you? To you, love is incredible and amazing.

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Sonnet 17

Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were the salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

You can have my uterus when you pry it from my cold, dead abdomen.

I need to create a new Java app that will count down the days until this tool reaches the end of his term.

A "freedom of religion" argument is being used to DENY rape victims the information they need to not carry a rapist's child to term. Nevermind that taking or not taking the morning-after pill is hardly a religious practice. Nevermind that it has been proven time and again by science that the morning-after pill is NOT an abortifacient (of course, here's where any whackjob would dismiss scientific findings as having a liberal slant and dang that Planned Parenthood for wanting to make bank on all those abortions and sales of Plan B!).

So freedom of religion means that you can essentially force a woman to carry the child of her rapist by denying her basic emergency contraception information. And freedom of religion means that you can force people to say the pledge of allegiance, with the "under God" and everything. And freedom of religion means you can force people to pay taxes to faith-based organizations regardless of their own religious beliefs.

In conclusion, freedom of religion now means that you can be forced by informal as well as state and federal means to live by the tenets of a faith you may or may not believe in.

It's days like these that I wish Thomas Jefferson's reanimated zombie corpse would kick the asses of blowhards like Bill Owens and Dubya and Tom Delay until they cry for mercy. A secular humanist zombie whuppin. That's what this country needs.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Tuesday lists

Today's list:

ACTUAL SUBJECT HEADINGS IN THE EXMORMON.ORG "RECOVERY" FORUMS:

- "Look at the big smelly turd that the mormon PR department just dropped(press release)

- "Cleavage - A question for the women from a man"

- "Mainstreaming My BUTT!"

- "Are the church's declamations against "pornography" a sort of code?"

- "Offensive people in my ward - classmate hit it on the head - edited for conciseness"

- "My beverage experiences.... how much does it take you to get drunk?"

- "Please -- A little respect for asses!"

- "The way I see it, ole JS says it's ok to drink beer"

Why do the good shows come to town when I'm sick?

Whew. Rock hangover.

At least I could open both eyes this morning.

Decided that giving in to the virus was the wussie's way out and headed on down to the Larimer Lounge to see the Bellrays, Von Iva and Rock and Roll Soldiers (though I was mistakenly informed that Reno Divorce would also be in attendance. Dang.).

The thing about tiny up and coming bands is that they are so guilty until proven innocent. The small club is the ultimate judgement for a small band- it is assumed you suck until you prove otherwise. Happily, all in attendance last night made some compelling cases.

Here's the lineup:
Rock and Roll Soldiers
Lizzie, you would have LOOOVED these guys. Hovering somewhere between the Strokes and the Hives but with a less "made for TV" sound. And the lead singer was a tall, cute Chinese dude named Marty Larson-Xu. We need more decent bands from Eugene, Oregon.

Von Iva
Tara- you would have LOOOOVED these guys. Sort of Yeah Yeah Yeahs meets the Donnas, only with more soul. The guys in the audience were all over these ladies . . . but I wouldn't have crossed that lead singer, she looked likely to put a stilletto in the eye of the next guy who asked to see her boobs.

The Bellrays
What do you get when you mix Pam Grier, The Ramones, and a couple of guitarists with faces only a mother could love? These guys. Trust me, it works . . .

We had more fun than it made sense to have on a Monday night. But now I'm just trying to talk as little as possible and not hack up anything too noticeably. But like all hangovers, once this goes away I won't regret a thing.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Dammit dammit

Sick. I hate being sick. Not for the obvious reasons, like my Patty-and-Selma-cough and the fact that I've been hacking up things that would scare the demon-posessed Linda Blair. I hate it when people feel bad for me. It makes me want to punch people when I cough my smokers-cough and people look at me with that, aw, poor thing face.

I woke up this morning and there was just no denying that I was sick. I hate that- when there's no question. One eye completely glued shut and my chest heavy with goo. About as sexy as a TB patient in the last stages . . .

Anyway. Back to work, some 100 emails to answer, 18 or so voicemails, and another coworker on vacation who wants me to do their work. Yay. Meanwhile my senses are dulled and my bad eye feels like I've mistaken 10w-40 for saline solution.

Ick. 'Specially ick because this week I wanted to go out on a school night to see this and this.

Anyway. That would be a good name for a band: "Out on a School Night."

I am, however, feeling empowered because, armed with only my wit and a monkey wrench, and wearing pink glittery flip flops, I got my CHECK ENGINE light to go off in the Saab. Sweet. Although I think it is indicative of the death throes of the O2 sensor, I just hate that stupid stupid light.

No news for today. I could get into Bill Owens and his stupid "let's just not tell rape victims about emergency conraception" bill and the latest in the TABOR fiasco but I'm sick so I will leave it to more robust commentators, like Ralph.

Until next time . . .