Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Summer plans, make me feel fine

This is going to be a really intense summer. I can feel it already. It's only April and the temps out there are nearing 80 degrees. The plans to get a scooter are still somewhat on track, so that will be a fun little distraction and a cheap, easy and peak-oil friendly little hobby. But the heat is the least of my issues. The big one is that I've got to say good bye to my best friend, loyal confidant and oracle of boy advice, my sister, Lizzie.

I remember when she was born. I was 18 months old. It was one of my very first memories and it is as vivid as anything I can muster up in the archives of my brain.

We've been friends ever since- despite rocky roads, separations, differences, tragedy and everything else that comes with being sisters. She's leaving June 11. They restationed her and changed her departure date so I've been lucky enough to have had five extra months with her that I wouldn't have otherwise had. For that, I have the bureaucratic inefficiency of the Peace Corps to thank.

So I'll have a Lizzie-less Summer and it will be hard. My therapist has told me to spend some time trying to figure out how I'll keep myself busy without her. Sadly, over these last few months it's been a trial for both of us to clear out parts of our busy schedules to make time for each other. But now that it's coming down to the wire, I find myself getting a little anxious. I literally have to figure out what I am going to do without her. And it's really hard to imagine right now. I think it's actually too painful for me to think about in the more accessible regions of my brain, and to protect me, my mind is tucking this whole thing safely into my subconscious, where it can't really hurt me right now.

This Memorial Day, we're expected in Wyoming again (you remember last time?), for another gathering with the Grandparents. They both turned 80 last year. They're hanging in there with admirable tenacity. Nothing quite like visiting Wyoming to hang out with your grandparents.

In the positive column, though, I have a Neko Case show in June, the Flaming Lips in July, and The Starlight Mints on May 18 to look forward to. And the big 2-5 looming on the horizon in August.


But I have Audrey, my boy, my friends- bloggy and otherwise- and plenty of sunny Colorado summer days to help me through all this. That's got to count for something.

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